Lana Del Rey

I dreamt that I was a attorney with celebrities, movie stars and popular singers as clients.  One time, songstress Lana Del Ray phoned me asking for an appointment.  I told her that I wan't taking on new clients.  The next day I walk into my suite and my secretary Kate tells me that Lana Del Rey is waiting in my office.

"She can't sing!", adds Kate.
"With a stage name like that, she doesn't have to," I say, "I told her over the phone that I couldn't see her. What's the story?"

Kate has done her homework.

"She insisted," says Kate.  "Apparently, she broken up with her manager Hem Schneider, who stole millions from her, won a lawsuit against him, and she's up for a new contract with the record company."

"Hem?"

"Herman"

"As in Herman's Hermits?  With a name like that you can only be a manager.'

I walk into my office.   She's sitting cross-legged, short dress barely covering inches of her upper thighs.  Baby face, ton of make-up. Definitely not my type.

"Miss Lana, as I have told you I am not accepting new clients."

I sit down behind my desk, she uncrosses her legs.  She is not wearing panties.  I've seen that weapon before.

"You can call me Liz," she says (Her birth name is or was Elizabeth Woolridge). I am about to start recording a new album Produced by S. who recommended that I speak to you."

S. is a client, an old friend and an accomplished producer who's worked with Tina Turner, Mick Jagger and many others. Maybe he's decided that Lana can sing after all.

"Very well then, Lana, eh, Liz, what kind of legal work do you need?  And let me state in the beginning that I won't take any case having to do with your past."

"I need a management contract and a review of a record contract," says Lana.