Scholarship

- You're a comedian.
- I am?
- At this rate you'll grow up a sad clown!
-  Deep down all clowns are sad.
- You'll be nothing but a sad clown.
- What are you?
- I'm a Shakespearean scholar.


- See this stack of  money?
- What about it?
- Get me a bottle of tequila in 5 minutes and it's yours!
-  I can run to the store in 5, back in 5, how about 15 minutes?
- No, 5 minutes or no deal.
- Gimme an empty bottle and I'll fill it right away for you!


- Excuse me, where does bus number 52 stop around here?
- I'm sorry, I don't take buses, but where are you going?
- To the Village.
- Keep going this way and there at the corner you'll see a bus stop.


- Have you ever seen a situation where there are two families, and due to some outside circumstances, one family's loss is the other's gain, and for one reason or another they must get along with each other.
- That's weird, I don't think I have, give me an example.
- I'll tell you next time we speak.  Ponder it in the meantime.